Friday, June 27, 2014

Superpowers to overpower bosses

In a rosy life of a corporate employee, there’s always a villain. Unlike any villain you have seen in movies or comics, this villain generally has a good taste in fashion and ‘your blood’. I will lose the bet if I ask you to guess, because you already have him in your life – Your Boss.
Dressed in black as ‘the Satan’, he pokes you with the trident of his evil taunts, make you feel nervous when you had it under control, finds faults in you, your work and attitude; in short, tries to belittle you at every step, just to prove who’s boss.

What is the best way to give it back to him? Turn into a HULK and call it a ‘Clobbering Time’!? ‘Hulk-Turning-Thought’ always reminds me of a question asked by my friend once– ‘Do you have spare clothes before you turn to Hulk?’.  An intelligent argument indeed – Be prepared before you wage a war. Carrying a pair of clothes, and hatred too, all the time with me wasn’t a very good idea, so I dropped the idea of being Hulk. We still have lot of Superheroes left that I can be!

Next in my list of inspiring superheroes, were Catwoman – Scratch my boss’s face and run off, HellBoy – Punch my boss right in face with my rock-fist, Human Torch – set ablaze my boss’s hair so that he looks like Hades - his real self, posses a hammer like Thor and strike right on his head to set things right inside. But, all these are Image Destroying for my boss and me both! I should be smart enough to end the war and the enemy in one single attempt. And this requires for great deal of planning.

There’re two ways to win a war with your boss –befriend him, win his trust and make sure it remains so, and the other way is to destroy him completely. The first way is always amicable and actually the best way – the Mr.Fantastic way, however, there are two factors to consider; you need to have real low Ego-Quotient and secondly, not all bosses deserve your amity.  For the second way, unless you know you are more powerful than your boss, don’t charge. But if you are at higher grounds then make just one perfect move to get it all leveled with him, a swift move!

So, in any of the two ways of war you first need to know your Boss. Till then lie low like Batman or Spiderman would have. Find out what are his strengths, weaknesses, is he worth sparing and offering your friendship to him, what he thinks about you, who else can be your ally in this endeavor. You also need to find your strengths and weaknesses.  You need to be very detailed in this phase, more the information the better you can plan. Once you have all this information first decide on should you be offering your friendship or cry out loud for war.

A little ego-balm can work wonders to win your boss’s favor. Be known that avoiding conflict is the best way to win it, and of course one less foe to worry about.

Should you find yourself in a beyond repair situation, tie your laces for bulldozing. Compare your strengths and weaknesses with your boss. Find out where the boss can attack, device a plan for defense. Use your strengths. Keep a dash of surprise element. Hit the boss where he least expects it. Most importantly, plan all this stealthily. That’s the Batman way. Equip yourself with best possible defense and attack plans. Make sure you are not overconfident like Iron Man, as not all possess the intelligence like a superhero. Be vigilant like Hawk-eye, as your boss can attack in return; always try to find what he’s up to – dig in like Agent Romanoff would; be flexible to give it back to your boss for his advancements like Mr.Fantastic. In the end, all that matters is that you end it swiftly before anyone can notice.

Bosses are unique creatures, not all have same traits, so find the best way to deal with him using the superpowers of your superheroes; be a Marvel!


Parting note to bosses who are reading this – The need to read this article will never arise if you can be good to your team, blend in and win confidence of your subordinates. Make office a happy place to work, or else be ready for a Superhero!