Saturday, November 16, 2013

Am I just a number?

My birth timestamped almost 28 years ago, a proof of my existence, is nothing but a mere paper; so will be my death certificate, and in between there will be so many phases, all either identified by a number or a date.

Before I can even start counting on my finger, I was given a number to identify me in the class. I wasn't the only one with a number. All my friends were roll numbers in the attendance sheet as well. Our presence in class was recorded against these numbers. As a kid, I never thought about giving it a personal touch but now in retrospect I think the idea of calling out the names would have been a good ice breaker move for teachers. But we Indians are 'too good with numbers', and lack the same passion when it comes to being sensitive to other's emotions.

Somehow my mind adapted to remember me as a number....roll no 4, roll number 32 and then some complex roll numbers like 2003ELX2704. To my relief, I was never a number for my friends, however there were a different set of numbers that took precedence. These numbers defined how popular you can be in your class. Yes, you got it right - the Ranks! This number not only was an indicator of your 'Teacher's Pet Quotient' but also, the count of friends you have was directly proportional to it, unless your 'coefficient of arrogance' is too high to defy this formula.

All along I have just juggled between such combination of digits - Roll number, Marks, Percentage, Ranks, Seat numbers, my salary, all were part of it. Then came numbers with bigger impacts - 'to the world', the numbers we see in news. Some good, some bad. I have seen new records being created for tallest buildings and longest bridges - pretty numbers. However, some numbers are not that pretty, they bring tears in my eyes. Skewed Sex Ratio in India, Ratio of Cancer Patients to healthy in the US of A, Counts of Cities hit by calamities to name a few.

We didn't stop here to count, we made human lives a count too. 'Thousands' of lives were lost in typhoon Haiyan, and they were just a number in news. Every time a calamity like this happens, all we see on our TV screens is a counter to keep a track of dead bodies, just like the way they do in elections. Those who broadcast the news forget that the people they are talking about are not just any-'bodies', they were part of someone's world, they were part of someone's happy moments. They are no entities, they were lives, they can't just be counts.

I refuse to be a mere number or a count, rephrase, I refuse to be a whole number. And yes I am not, I am part(fraction) of my family, I am a Speed Dial number in my friend's phones, I am natural number to those who know me and my crazy mind and I am definitely a complex number for who don't.
My existence might owe a bit to numbers, but my presence is much bigger than these digits. You don't etch numbers on someone's heart, it's your love for them that is; and that is tattooed all over the memories of my family and friends.

I am definitely not just a number!

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